Meatball Machine (DVD Review)

Meatball Machine is not so much about “Meatballs” or “Machinery” as it is a timeless love story. A love story between two regular people, set in a land where it’s perfectly normal to have “Power Ranger” type monsters running around fighting each other. So basically it’s an average day in Japan I guess.

The story revolves around a young man Yoji that works in a machine shop (hey there is your “machine”). He does his job goes home, (masturbates apparently) and just lives his life as best he can. Everyday on his lunch break he eats his lunch outside and watches a girl named Sachiko hang out her laundry. They both cut their eyes at each other in this kind of “I know your watching me, watching you” kind of way. It’s cute, and the basis of their budding relationship.

One day after a friend tries to take out Yoji out for some “fun” he ends up by himself in a theater being hit on by a cross-dresser. Yoji gets up and walks out and tries to avoid the tranny but ends up getting into, and losing, a fight with him/her. He winds up in the garbage and finds… something. Takes it home and does some investigating on “it.” The next night he “rescues” Sachiko from an attempted rape and in the process gets his ass kicked again. They go home to tend to his wounds and she tells him that she has been watching him the whole time he has been watching her… Awwww. They kiss and get ready to do the nasty. Sachiko has a secret though that she shares with Yoji. She was beaten and scared by her father, rather badly and she gets very emotional and upset. This awakens the thingthat Yoji found the other night. It attacks her and changes her into a walking host to a rather disgusting parasite. From then on its a battle to win back his love from this thing that has taken over her body.

Cutting to the chase… Yoji finds a crazy Doctor (aren’t they all) and he pretty much lays out the plot behind why these things are supposedly on Earth. Crazy Doc then infects Yoji with one of these things b/c he is trying to “feed” his daughter who has been partially infected. Yoji overpowers the parasite and kills the Doc. Sets off with his new found strength and power to find Sachiko. When he finds her there is a big fight, she actually remembers him but knows it is too late for her and tries to end her own life. Yoji says no ma’am and does it for her, awww now that’s love.

Oddly enough (not really for these films) that isn’t the end. Yoji then gets infected AGAIN in order to stop the entire race of these creatures once and for all. He again takes over the parasite and then detonates a bomb (yes a bomb) that he quote “Built inside of him” and kills himself and the parasite. No info was given on how he built a bomb inside of himself, nor to how exactly he knew how to detonate it. That must be the end right… nope.

Next we get a shot of two of these parasites talking to each other in some galactic disgusting space ship. They talk about how humans are the ultimate weapon for “the game” and how things have changed. They then talk about how the new hosts are going to make “the game” more interesting than ever. No mention of what the game really is, or why it is created. Then we are treated to shots of both Yoji and Sachiko frozen and naked presumably as host bodies. Eyes open, they scream, and the credits roll.

This movie isn’t really bad (relatively speaking of course) but it really isn’t good either. The story makes no sense, and is all over the place. It never really gets going and just seems sluggish the whole way through. The rubber monsters are kinda funny to watch fight and kill each other in buckets of blood. The one thing this movie does, and does well is the sound effects for the really disgusting parts. I don’t get sick in movies that are graphic, but I can imagine that if you do this one would be too much for you.

As part of my self inflicted pain of watching these movies, this one isn’t really all that terrible, though not one I will probably ever watch again either. I really am not sure why they chose the title that they did for this film, but then again it is a Japanese gore flick and that just fits the mold. Not sure that I can recommend this one for anyone. It doesn’t have the excitement of Tokyo Gore Police, and lacks the creepy story and feel of Attack Girls’. So my quest continues to find the perfect balance of blood, guts, story, and Japanese flare.

#JapaneseCrazyness #MeatballMachine #DVDBluRay #Reviews #Movies