Zombies Zombies Zombies

See that one hand holding up money? That is probably the one person that paid to see this film, and they’re a zombie. That pretty much describes my feelings on this load of hot garbage.

Zombies Zombies Zombies is not only a horrible title for a movie, it’s a poor excuse for one as well. Let’s start with the premise; A dude trying to come off an “addiction” is given experimental drugs that are some how tainted and turns his call girl into a zombie. Lucky for them and us [the viewer] they happen to be right beside a strip club. You know what? I don’t even want to give this movies plot any explination. People turn into zombies and bite others, thus turning them into zombies. There is a lot of dead people and hookers (b/c once they’re dead, they’re just hookers) as a result.

The call girl’s pimp is a complete rip off of Bernie Mac’s entire persona. He talks like him, dresses like him, and tries to be tough like he was. It doesn’t work in any respect. I hate him. Not just because of this horrible impersonation, but because he actually uttered the line, “I’m tired of the mutha fuckin’ zombies in this mutha fuckin’ strip club.” That was the last straw.

The girls in the movie are attractive sure, I guess, but their acting is so bottom-of-the-barrel porn level acting that they lose all attractiveness because of it. One is the country girl that is just trying to make a bit of money for school. One is that hardened vet that has been in it to long to care anymore, and one is just the tough girl with the chainsaw… that wasn’t even running when she “killed” a zombie.

There are so many “horror movie mistakes” in this movie that I won’t even get into them, save one. I love that the cop shows up and parks all the way across the parking lot from where the people are that he has to rescue. Not only that, but the people inside actually say “why did he park so far away?” Thus essentially breaking the fourth wall.

This movie is complete bull shit. It’s not worth even seeing for a joke. Whoever wrote the “Don’t miss this one” for the box quote, should be ashamed of themselves. Also the only thing I “laughed out loud” at was the fact that this movie is so abysmal and that now it is in my Netflix history on Screened.com.

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