Review: V/H/S/85
Late-marathon horror delirium is setting in. Do I love this movie? Do I hate it? Do I like the way it lingers with me more than I enjoyed actually watching it? Read on as I try and sort out my feelings on this modern anthology set during horror's heyday.
1985 was not the best year for horror cinema, but it was a particularly fun one. Fright Night, Day of the Dead, Re-Animator and Return of the Living Dead are some of my personal favorites of the entire decade, and they were all released in '85. I'm new to the V/H/S horror anthology series, but it's no surprise that I picked V/H/S/85 as my entry point, even though it's the sixth movie in the franchise. I've been aware of these films for years, and while I always expected I would eventually check them out, their middling reputation has not exactly lit a fire under my ass as I stare down an ever-growing canon of excellent horror. Sometimes, though, you find yourself alone in a Toronto hotel room in mid-October, and you can't figure out how to watch Bride of the Re-Animator on Canadian streaming so you just say "screw it" and see what Shudder has to offer. I'm sure we've all been there.
Does it seem like I'm stalling? I might be. This was a weird viewing experience for me. My initial reaction was surprise at how little budget seemed to be at play for what I had in my head as a Final Destination/Paranormal Activity-tier movie series. I've trumpeted the success of plenty of low-budget offerings here at 31 for 31, but I'd be lying if I said an obvious lack of production value doesn't set off a few alarm bells. The first story was decent, but didn't have any sort of resolution, so that bothered me. It involved a group of college-age kids going camping on a lake that holds supernatural properties, and being assaulted by an unknown force ("No Wake"). The second tale ("God of Death") was perhaps a bit stronger, but it was also subtitled, which... sure, I don't mind subtitles, but this isn't exactly Kurosawa or Tarkovsky, so maybe a little more effort than I signed up for. By the time I was nearing the end of the third installment, I was getting fairly pissed off. This offering felt more like a one-woman stage play about society's worship of technology than a fun horror short, and I seriously contemplated pulling the plug. No, I reassured myself, at least I would come out of this with a review where I could let blast with both barrels. Yet, here I sit, typing with the safety on.
The end of that third story is kind of dumb, but also really gory and pretty dang funny. For all the horror-comedies I've reviewed this year, I think the final minute of "TKNOGD" tickled me more than anything else I've seen so far. Meanwhile, the interstitial story about an alien mimicking the scientists who are studying it started getting more interesting and also a little funny, and the next story slowly started to connect to, and resolve, the opener in a satisfying way. The final tale, directed by Scott Derrickson of Black Phone fame was the goriest, most well acted, and most interesting from a story perspective. All of a sudden, I was contemplating a, not glowing, but largely positive review. Other elements, like the random horror-adjacent clips that cut in and out abruptly just like a VHS tape that has been dubbed over countless times, add to the overall atmosphere. Yet, there is still the perception that, even in Derrickson's story, things just kind of resolve without any real point behind them. I don't mean in a deep, thematic way, that's way out of bounds for a movie like this. More like, huh, ok I see mechanically what has happened in the plot, but not even one layer below that as to why it has happened or how it could have happened. Que sera sera.
Look, I've been writing these reviews for more than a decade now, and I'm pretty sure Scott started some time in the Carter administration, so we both clearly have an affinity for horror movies of all stripes. Every year, we both sheepishly recommend stuff that more casual fans might rightly turn their noses up at. I can't logically give a full-throated recommendation to something like V/H/S/85, but I also can't bring myself to say it sucks because I truly did find value in it. In fact, it has inspired me to run the series, so to speak, and I intend to go through the other films in random order. Look out for my review of V/H/S 2 at some point in Halloween season 2027.
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